Human interactions seem to be the bane of of our existence. We try and try to be better versions of ourselves. We exert ourselves in having good relationships , and overlooking the faults of others. We try to bite our tongues and not respond but sometimes - as much as we try we get caught. We respond without thought. We respond with our true feelings without focusing on where it may land.
Often we are justified in feelings of anger and needing to respond in a way that expresses how we truly feel. And yet that moment, when you let it out and you feel a sense of deflation. Was it worth it ? Did it even affect the person in any way? Did it change the actual problem in any way ?
Many a times we find ourselves in toxic situations, people will push your buttons and knowing your triggers say the exact thing that will allow you to explode.
As a Muslima ,our tempers are often what we are tested with the most - I know I struggle greatly with mine! Sometimes your spouse might irk you ,or your kids might drive you crazy. Yet , to most things you might not respond at all. And then , they say the one thing that is sure to trigger you. That one tiny statement that allows you to explode!
The person that we become when we finally react , is often not someone that we are proud of. We lament our weakness and the fact that we were pulled in to the cycle of toxicity. So how do stop this vicious cycle? How do we take responsibility for our responses but factor in the Triggers that often push us to respond.
Recognize that Allah will only ask you about your responses. Irrespective of the fact that people might be wrong or toxic, we are responsible for our own behavior and responses.
Recognize repeated patterns of behavior with toxic people . Understand that certain people will not change . No matter how factually correct you might be they won't see things from your perspective.
Recognize your triggers. Those closest to us will always push us with the exact triggers that make us lose our minds. It is imperative that we recognize those triggers that bring our our worst responses.
Constantly ask Allah Ta'ala to allow us to recognize our own toxic qualities and to never make us a means of harm for others.
